Antics in Space part Duex
by thedriverpicksthemusic
Summary: The showing of a video leads to utter chaos...if only people could learn to keep things to themselves.
1. The Prolouge

**A/N:** Ok…so the title, if you've ever seen the movie Hotshots…well the part duex is from the sequel. I used it mostly because this is probably going to turn out to be pure crackfic. I actually never intended for the story to happen, but in the process of writing "These Times", my muse decided to take me completely off track and go down a very strange and twisted road, which did not at all fit in with the stories original plot. So, I've decided that I would rework it into a sort of sequel for Antics in Space. Hope you enjoy this. Please review! =D

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Oliver Queen did not forget about Wally's "unmentionable" video. The entire time they had been plotting and executing their revenge against Superman the Unjust and his Council of cruelty (as they had become secretly know), the aforementioned tape hovered at the back of his mind. Seeing as Star City was safe at the moment and the emerald archer had nothing to do (the league had extended his and Wally's bans) he decided to track down the young speedster and demand he show him the footage.

With a little help from his former sidekick Speedy, who had made a quick call to Nightwing, he was able to track Flash to his small apartment in Central City. Of course, when he'd made the call both Roy and Dick had insisted he tell them why he was looking for Wally. As a result, the two young heroes hovered behind him as he knocked on the door of one Wally West.

Wally opened the door and stared, uncertain as to why the three eager looking heroes were standing at his apartment door. He glanced behind them, looking disappointed when he saw the empty hallway behind them. The pizza's he had ordered were supposed to be here soon, and he hadn't eaten in at least an hour. Needless to say, the red-head was starving.

"Um, hey guys. What are you doing here?" The statement was directed mostly towards Ollie because Dick and Roy seemed too excited to be bothered with questions at the moment.

"We want to see the tape," Queen replied evenly. Wally stared blankly at him, the lack of food seemed to be messing with his thought process. "You know, the 'unmentionable' one," the blonde supplied.

"Yea, we want to see Wally," Dick said pushing his way past Oliver and into the apartment. Roy followed him to the large collection of movies near the TV.

"So, where is it?" the younger archer called, digging through the assortment of DVDs and video tapes.

"Look, I don't think-" Wally started, but Oliver pushed him out of the way and moved into the room to help with the search. Wally sighed. "Can we at least wait for the pizza to get here?"


	2. Promises Mean Nothing

Four sets of eyes were fixed unblinking on the small television screen a few feet away.

Three mouths hung open, slack jawed in awe of the video and its contents.

Two bodies leaned forward as though being closer made it better.

One young red-head smirked at his aweomesomeness.

When the video ended Wally got up and removed the tape, returning it to the super secret hiding place in which the video had resided since he'd first acquired it. When he returned the three men sitting on his couch had not moved an inch. Wally wasn't even sure they had blinked and to tell the truth it was started to creep him out.

"Um…you guys all right?" he asked in odd voice. For what seemed like an unbearably long time to the Flash they remained frozen. The young man was ready to call for help when Ollie closed his mouth and turned slowly to his friend standing next to the TV.

"How?" was all he could manage to get out. Wally grinned proudly.

"That my friend, is a secret for me to know, and no one else to ever find out," he replied zipping into the kitchen only to return with a package of cookies.

By the time he'd started munching on his third cookie Roy and Dick were able to rouse themselves from the awe inspired stupor the video had left them in.

"That was…" Roy started. "It was…well," he didn't seem able to find a word that could describe what he had just witnessed properly. "I don't really know what, but amazing is definitely an understatement."

Dick sat next to him opening and closing his mouth, unable to talk. The older Arrow looked at him uncertainly.

"You all right kid?" he asked, giving the young man beside him a light shake. Dick slowly turned to look at Queen, giving a weak nod and then turned his attention to the speedster now reaching into the bottom of the package for the last few broken bits of cookie.

"Batman would never…if he knew you had…Wally, what was that?!"

"That Dick, was the most awesome thing you will ever see in your entire life." Wally's easy grin quickly faded and he glared pointing at the three eager-eyed heroes on his couch. "And it never leaves this room. Got it?" Ollie nodded immediately, but Dick and Roy exchanged an anxious glance before nodding slowly. "Not good enough," Wally declared. "Promise me you'll never tell anyone else."

"Why does it matter so much?" Roy asked a bit defensively. "You were going to show it at that rally."

"No, I thought about showing it, but it's too big of a risk to my life. Now promise me," he snapped. The two younger heroes sighed, but eventually all three heroes pledged to keep the contents of the videos to themselves.

* * *

Flash sat in the rec. room next to his best friend Green Lantern. The red clad young hero was currently kicking John's butt at some racing game Flash had pulled from the collection in his room. GL was accusing the speedster of cheating (Wally couldn't help it if his super speed happened to give him a bit of an advantage, it was hard to control the speed of his thoughts) when the screen was suddenly blocked by a small group of heroes.

Flash looked up into the fierce face of Shayera and then glanced at the rag tag group of heroes behind her, deciding that all of them together was rather unusual.

"We want to see the tape," she told him. Confusion flickered across the young man's face and then suddenly his mouth fell open and the controller dropped from his hands.

"T-the tape? I don't…who?" Flash stuttered nervously.

"Every one knows Speedy can't keep a secret," Kara stated matter-of-factly from somewhere over Shayera's left shoulder.

"Do promises mean nothing!?" Wally cried jumping up from his seat.

"What are you talking about?" the Lantern asked, looking slowly back and forth between Flash and Shayera.

"He is in possession of a tape which is rumored to contain footage that is both embarrassing and amusing." Everyone turned to stare at the Question, who was leaning casually against a wall in the back. John looked at his winged friend as though to ask where the faceless man had come from, to which she merely shrugged.

"So," Kara started, pushing her way past Shayera, "where is it?"

"Well, heh, I don't…I mean…it's uh…Igottago." Flash sprang lightly over the couch and sped out of the room.

* * *

Flash ran his usual patrol through Central City with a bit of unease. As grateful as he was to have escaped the close call on the Tower, he wasn't so dumb as to think they wouldn't come try to find him later. Besides, he didn't know who else Roy had blabbed to, or who those people had mouthed off to.

Even though he had been extra alert tonight, the young hero had never been more surprised then he was when he entered the abandoned warehouse.

He'd heard what sounded like a young women screaming for help and immediately raced into the empty building. However rather than finding someone in need of rescues, Flash found himself trapped by one of the scariest criminals known to man.

"Seriously dude, shouldn't you be terrorizing Gotham or something? I mean, I know I'm way more awesome than Bats could ever dare hope to be, but still I don't-"

"Do you ever shut up?" the man asked, his mouth pulling down into a frown.

"No, he doesn't," came a deep voice. Batman emerged slowly from the shadows, looking as scary as ever in Wally's opinion.

"Ah, Batsy, I thought you might show up. And because I also figured that the most annoying man alive wouldn't be much help, I've decided to employ your detective skills."

"What do you want Joker?" Batman asked, glancing at Wally who was grumbling something about being the _fastest_ man alive.

"I've heard rumors about a tape featuring a certain Dark Knight-"

"WHAT!?" Flash shouted, but the other two ignored him.

"I want the tape, and I want you to find it." Batman glared coldly, first at the Joker and then at Flash.

"Bats I swear I didn't know it would cause this much trouble," the young man told him miserably. Joker grinned wickedly and walked over to the trapped hero.

"You have 24 hours Batman, and then your friend here will be on his way to becoming the fastest man _not_ alive." Batman's jaw twitched and he reached for a batarang. "24 hours Batsy, here's my card." He threw a Joker card into the air, where it flipped a few times, finally coming to a rest at the Dark Knight's feet. Slowly Bruce bent and picked up the card. Arkham Asylum was scrawled messily across the back. He crumpled the card in his fist as he looked at the empty space where Joker and Flash had previously been.

"I hope you know Flash," he growled into the dark as he stalked away, "the only reason I'm bothering is so I can kill you myself."

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**A/N: **Well here it is, hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter we see just how much of Flash the Joker can take. ; ) Please review, I like to know what you guys think.


	3. Anywhere in the world and he chooses

**A/N: **Wow, it's been a while huh? Well I won't bore you with excuses. Onto the story. (I own nothing by the way.)

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Batman was currently waiting for Dick to return from patrol. Sitting on the couch wasn't exactly his idea of intimidating, but Starfire had seen him come through the window and insisted that he sit with her and wait. Bruce had seen her angry before, he didn't feel the need to repeat the experience tonight. So here he sat, on the couch, with all the lights on, waiting for his former sidekick to return home.

The scene had surprised Dick at first, but once the shock passed it was kind of funny. Seeing Batman perched on his couch while Star prattle on about something or other just made him laugh. However his mentor did not agree.

"If I were you, I'd wipe that stupid smile off your face," the Dark Knight growled, moving from the sofa. Dick stopped laughing immediately. "I know Wally showed you a tape. I want it."

"Aw, come on Bruce. It wasn't really that bad," he lied.

"Some how I doubt that. Still, whether or not it was detrimental is the least of my problems." Dick looked at the older man, waiting for him to continue. He wasn't exactly sure what could be worse for Batman than that video.

"The Joker has Flash, and unless I get him that tape, he's going to kill the kid," Bruce finished. The younger hero froze. Joker was going to kill Wally over a tape. Jeez, how did he get into situations like that?

"I…What do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to tell me where the tape is," Batman said simply. Dick stared back at him blankly.

"How am I supposed to know? Wally wouldn't tell any of us," Nightwing answered sincerely.

"You have to have some idea." Dick shook his head. "Come on, he's your best friend. Don't you have some idea where he would put it?"

"I don't know. Maybe if you tried thinking like him…" the boy suggested. It was really the only thing he could think of off the top of his head.

"I'm the Batman; I don't believe it's mentally possible for me to think on that level." Gotham's protector paused and then smirked. "However part of the reason I cam to see is because I knew if you did not know the location you could at least make a guess that would be more along the lines of Wally's thinking than any guess I could make."

"Well, I – Hey!" Dick yelled indignantly when he realized what Bruce had been implying, but it didn't make a difference. Batman was already leaving.

* * *

"Did you try asking J'onn?" Green Lantern asked. He was standing in the doorway, on shoulder resting comfortably against the frame. As Batman turned and shot him a rather intimidating stare, he began to understand why Wally enjoyed bugging the man so much.

"Don't you think that's the first thing I would have done?" The Dark Knight growled. "He's out in another galaxy with Superman trying to stop an interplanetary war." GL nodded and watched as the other man angrily shoved an empty pizza box off of the coffee table.

"You could help you know," Batman stated irritably. The Lantern sighed and pushed himself away from the wall. Maybe he didn't understand why Wally liked bothering him so much after all.

John walked casually around the room, making his way to the one room they had not yet entered. Slowly he pushed Wally's bedroom door open and flipped on the light.

Despite the few scattered clothes on the floor, the room was relatively clean. This surprise Stewart, judging by the way the kid acted he'd always assumed Flash's room would look as though a tornado had hit it.

Suddenly a rather funny thought crossed GL's mind and he had to stop himself from laughing.

"You know," he mused out loud, "I'd almost bet you that Wally is one of those people who hide all their really secret stuff under their mattress."

Batman suddenly froze, and though John couldn't see it under the cowl, a strange look crossed Bruce's face. Maybe he hadn't needed Dick to think on Wally's level for him after all.

He roughly shoved Green Lantern out of the way and marched over to the young hero's bed. If the tape really was here Bruce was going to have to have a long talk with the young man about security and where to keep valuable objects.

Batman pulled the tape marked "Super Top Secret" in red sharpie from under Wally's mattress and clenched his jaw.

"Only someone like Wally would hide something like this under his mattress, when he has any where in the world to choose from," he commented as the left the room.

John followed him up to the roof where the Batwing sat waiting.

"You want some back up?" he asked. Truth be told the Lantern was afraid of what the Dark Knight might do to Flash once he'd freed him from the Joker.

"No," Batman snapped and climbed into his jet.

* * *

"Look buddy, I get that Batman is the best detective in the world and all, but seriously, all this kidnapping business…I don't think the tape is really worth it," Flash rambled as he sat, drawing random figures on the floor of his cage.

"I don't believe I asked your opinion, now did I?" Joker snapped back irritably. The kid had been prattling on about who-knows-what ever since the clown had nabbed him. Wally sighed for what felt like the millionth time.

"How long has it been now?" he asked looking up, he was bored drawing.

Joker cringed and whirled on Flash.

"I don't even care anymore!" The psychotic villain screeched. A vain was starting to throb on the side of his head. "If you ask me that one more time I will kill you whether it's been 24 hours or not!"

"Whoa dude, didn't mean anything buy it…I'm just bored…and hungry…and there isn't much room for me to move…" The Joker ran irately at where the younger man was currently trapped. He was going to shut that brat up once and for all.

"What a tick pudding'" Harley said stepping into the Joker's path. "Batman ain't gonna give ya that tape less speedy over there's still kickin'." Joker grabbed her arm tightly and spun her out of the way.

"Yeah," Flash agreed cockily, "You can't lay a hand on me if you want Batman to do what you asked." Joker released Harley and started for the red clad hero once more.

"I'd rather never get the tape _and_ go back to Arkham than listen to him for one more second," the white-face man snarled.

Harley shrunk back and rubbed her now sore arm.

"Ya coulda' just gagged him," she muttered. Joker rounded on her, pulling her roughly forward so their noses were just inches apart.

"What did you say?" he asked slowly. Harley shook, her eyes darting around the room nervously.

"Just that you coulda' ya know, gagged him or somethin'," she answered in a shaky voice.

"Why Harley my dear girl, I believe that is the best idea you've ever had." Joker once again let go of the girl and turned back to Flash with a wicked smile. "Your best idea indeed," he repeated.

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**A/N:** If there are mistakes I apologize. I edited very fast (*cough* hardly at all *cough*) so I could get this posted. Next time Batman delivers the tape! But what will he find when he gets there? Don't know?…me neither. Kidding…kind of. Hope you liked this. Please review and let me know what you thought!


	4. The Grand Finale

**A/N:** Ahhh, 3 months, I'm a horrible person!! Oh well, at least I finished it…right? Sigh. Any who, here it is…the wonderful conclusion! Enjoy and review.

Oh, I own nothing.

Batman stalked into Arkham Asylum with one thing on his mind. Get Wally and get out. Admittedly he would like to find some way to get Flash and still keep the tape, but all the different ideas he could punish the kid for his irresponsibility were distracting him from coming up with any decent plans.

He spotted Joker and Harley sitting on a ragged deep purple couch talking animatedly as the TV buzzed quietly across from them. The Dark Knight moved to another position finally spotting Flash in the corner of the room. Not only was the speedster still locked up, but he had now been gagged. Bruce smirked; it was about time someone shut the kid up.

Deciding that there was really no place in which he could sneak in Batman took a deep breath and stepped through the main door. The second Joker looked up and grinned a sense of dread spread through the Dark Knight's gut and he knew he should have just risked the kid's life by trying to break him out without offering up the tape.

"Batsy!" Joker crowed in delight. "You're finally here. I was beginning to think I was going to have to off the kid." The clown put a hand to the side of his mouth as though preparing to tell a secret. "Just between the two of us I think I would have been doing the world a favor," he whispered dramatically.

Batman ignored both the Joker's rant and Flash's muffled protest. Something bad was about to happen and the caped crusader was really hoping to avoid it.

"All right Joker, I have your tape. Let Flash go and you can have it." The Joker looked at him as if he'd just sprouted another head.

"Are you trying to make a joke Batsy?" He watched the Knights unmoving face and shook his head. "No, I didn't think so," he muttered with a sigh. He glanced around the room as though distracted and then suddenly whirled to face Batman once again.

"You and I have been working together for a long time now Bats, and as unfortunate as it is, I can't always trust you." He made a big show of looking disappointed and then threw an arm around the Dark Knight's shoulders. The glare from Batman had him removing the limb just as quickly as he'd thrown it around him. "This way then," he said gesturing to the broken purple couch placed across from a run down television.

"Harley, move over," he snapped.

"Sure Mista J," she replied and did a somersault across the couch to take a seat on a broken arm rest.

Joker held out a hand to Batman seeming rather impatient now. Slowly, the menacing hero pulled out the tape and relinquished it to the mad man. "Have a seat," Joker told him while pushing the tape into a VCR perched precariously on top of the TV.

A vein began to throb in Batman's temple. Joker was going to force him to watch this damned tape before releasing Flash. The kid was really going to pay.

The TV crackled to life and Joker leapt gleefully back to the couch to take a seat next to the Bat. As the screen turned from blue to a dark hazy room the clown prince of darkness pulled a bowl off the table next to him and plunged his hands down in the contents. Suddenly, remembering his guest, he shoved the bowl under Batman's nose.

"Popcorn?" he asked in a hushed voice. The vein in the Dark Knight's temple throbbed harder. Flash was definitely going to wish Joker had gotten the chance to kill him.

Deciding that the hero did not want to popcorn Joker pulled the bowl back into his lap. He didn't mind, it meant more for him.

Quiet voices filtered through the corroding speakers of the TV and the Joker grinned. Now the good stuff would begin…

Four sets of eyes watched the coveted video, wide and unblinking.

Three minds wondered what Batman was thinking.

Two bodies remained motionless as it ended.

One, recently freed man, ran for his life.

The End


End file.
